Wednesday, March 15

The Big Talk

Last night, we had planned on talking to the kids about our separation but I pulled out at the last minute. I left the house and called a good friend to cry a little. I thought back to my own parent's divorce and how it devastated me over the years. One of greatest fears is becoming my own father, who made me his pawn in his sick game with my mother. Today, I worked up enough courage to tell the kids, without Kabao.

Some excerpts from my talk with my angels this afternoon:

We’re going to seperate.


Cool? Kind of.

Kinda, kinda. (Alycia)

I’m glad you can say that

I mean, I think it’s better (Alycia)

I’m going to live with grandma and Jeri in the little house


Just as long as there aren’t a lot of spiders. Cause there are spiders there (Vincent)


So there is a possibility?

Yeah, there is a possibility. But there’s a possibility that we’ll make it work again, right?

This isn’t really surprising, just to let you know. Yeah. (Vincent)

So it’s kinda like okay. (Alycia)

We’re really not that worried (Vincent)

Okay, as long as I know that. Because I was very worried about you being worried.

Oh, *laughs* (kids)

Not worried.

But sometimes people say that just to psych themselves out too.

No, no, really not worried!! (Alycia)

No, we’re not worried (Vincent)

We’re just kinda like, oh, okay.

I know a bunch of kids who are divorced! (Vincent)

You know a bunch of kids who’s parents are divorced? You mean like Meskas people?

I know a lot of like most of them! (Vincent)

Yeah, I know a lot who’s parents are divorced. (Alycia)

And they’re okay right? They’re not like all devastated.

No. (kids)

But you know what, I was also a kid when my parents divorced and it was hard on me that’s why I was scared that it might be hard on you.


To me it’s kinda like thinking it’s better for you guys. Because it’s kinda like well if you guys aren’t really happy then it’s kinda like o-kay, I don’t know. (Alycia)

That’s good to hear. I’m glad to hear this from you guys because society is changing so much that I think kids today is use to that thinking. Back in our times it’s so traditional when you hear a couple divorced, it’s like “Oh, REALLY!?”

(Big laughs)

Really? (Alycia, sarcastic)

The one thing I want to say is that whatever thing is not working out between me and mom, it’s not your fault okay?

Uh-huh. (kids)

And you can never ever think that it’s your fault. Nor can you have prevent it. Do you understand that?

Or help it (Vincent)

Yes, or help it. Okay? And nothing you do will impact whether mommy and daddy will come back together. That’s our decision, something we have to work out.


I mean, if you guys get seperated, in a way, in a way, it’s kinda cool. (Alycia)

Yeah, why is it cool?

Cause if you live on your own, like in an apartment, we can go to your apartment.


*Laughs* (Alycia)

And you’ll have two rooms and not one.

Yeah. Two. (Alycia)

We’ll have two computers and two of everything (Vincent)


I’ve never seen kids take it that positively. *laughs* But that’s good, right? *laughs*

And it’s not very shocking, in a way (Alycia)


At 6:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your separation. Good luck... I hope you guys can find a way to work things out. Sometimes... it's just take a little time to figure things out. Good luck to both of you.


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